Books Books Books !!!

The book. Has there ever been a more inspiring invention? Simple, elegant, imaginative, a blank canvas on which beautiful (mostly) minds can unfurl their joy. What wonderments of the imagination lie in wait between the wafery folds of each newly bond tome? Bullshit! The book is putrid. Filth. Paper incrusted sin. Heathen evidence of the lowest points of the human conidition writ large for the ages of inky depreavity. I say steer clear, heres why.

- Hitler wrote a book, then killed 11 million people.
- Dan brown wrote a book, then bored 80 million people.
- The number one contributing factor in becoming a victim of schoolyard bullying is thinking, and nothing promotes thinking more than books. Think about it, or perhaps dont.
- The average amount of words in a book is 328. Add on an extra few words from “words from the author” and thanks yous, blah, double it, and you get 666!
- The book is almost solely responsibile for social decline.
- The book is anti-freedom. The most popular bookstore is Borders, and as any free society knows we should be moving toward a world without borders. Thus the mere existence of bookshops is a grand statement of right wing capitalist appression and should be abolished.
- The book is the leading cause to early onset blindness and orcular RSI.

Sorry, must go. I'm going to read a book....